Diplomacy Starts with People, Not Just Issues

Focus on understanding diplomats personally

Let me walk you through something we don’t talk about enough.

When I first entered UN spaces, I did everything I was taught to do.

Crafted sharp statements. Sat in every meeting. Took notes like they were gold.

But nothing was moving.

Not the positions. Not the language. Not the outcomes we were fighting for.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand.

Diplomacy runs on relationships. Not documents. Not airtime. Not grind.

What Most People Get Wrong

I’ve seen these traps. I’ve lived them.

• We perfect the text. Line by line. Thinking clarity alone will carry us.

• We flood the schedule. Presence becomes our metric.

• We push harder. Assuming persistence breaks resistance.

It makes sense. But it does not work.

Because you’re aiming at the outcome without building what holds it up.

What Shifted for Me

In 2022, I changed how I moved.

I stopped reaching out only when I needed something.

I started building during quiet seasons. Not performatively. Not strategically. Just steadily.

Coffee chats. Quiet check-ins. Listening sessions. Tracking who rotates in and who’s on what file.

Some people tell me directly when they’re leaving. Others, I hear through the floor.

Every year, new faces come in. Some hold our issues. Some brush against them.

What stays consistent is this:

Trust built early turns into leverage later.

How I Practice This

On the ground, here’s how it looks:

• I learn how each diplomat operates. Formal? Informal? I match what works for them.

• I reach out before things heat up. I do not wait for the crisis moment.

• I keep it light. A quick note. A shared frustration. No big asks.

• I listen first. I listen more. I listen better.

At COP27, our safeguard language didn’t land through a mic-drop moment.

It moved because of a quiet coffee. One diplomat. One human conversation. No documents exchanged. Just trust.

The Roadblocks

You’ll hit resistance. Here’s what to watch:

• Urgency will tempt you to skip the human part. Do not.

• You’ll want to use one approach for everyone. Do not.

• You’ll feel like you're starting over when people rotate. You are. But if you’ve built well, they hand you off. They bridge the gap for you.

Before You Go

This isn’t about being friendly.

It’s about how power flows through this system.

Most people will keep chasing visibility. Language. Volume.

You don’t have to.

Build relationships before you need them.

So when the moment comes, the door’s already open.

See you next week!